hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
