Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
try to milk me bitch
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