I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
did you just send me my own nude
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
