he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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