pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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