I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
