Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
