I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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