Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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