I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
