My boss' voice literally gives me gas
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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