Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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