he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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