I murdered the dance floor call the cops
thus making me awesome and them whores
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize