I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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