Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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