he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
