Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
