Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
