Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
