Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
