If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
