I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
