i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
