Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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