god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Randomize
