We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
