You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
