Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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