Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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