yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isnโt going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you canโt cheat on someone you love...
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