her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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