She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize