the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
