Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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