I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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