Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.

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(207): View more from Maine

Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it

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(348): View more from

I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished

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(410): View more from Maryland

we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.

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