if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just gift wrapped bread.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
