Your tits are I can't wait for
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
