I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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