I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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