I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My pussy is not your playground.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize