I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
