Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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