he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize