My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
