god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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