no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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