If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We need to get me chipped asap
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
