I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
