I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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