Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
