Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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