Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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