I just pynch a tree in the face
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
