why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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