Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
