my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize