Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
