Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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