I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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