nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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