We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
