Having a random hookup so left but love u
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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