"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize