He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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