I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize