By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
