Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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