new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
