and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
