so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize