Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
