I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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