I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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