I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
