I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
