I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
